So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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