He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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