I just pynch a tree in the face
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
