My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
