What a fucking waste of an outfit
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
