I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
