btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Small penises have feelings too.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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