8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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