I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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