I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
