i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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