he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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