apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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