I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
