TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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