hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
