Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
