Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize