Pappa wants mamma naked
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
