i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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