I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
