he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
