Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
