STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
