OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Someone signed my nipple.
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