I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
