I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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