I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
