Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
