If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I will be naked everywhere
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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