dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
