ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
