please come you make the beer taste better
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
