He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
sex in a hospital.. check
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
