let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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