I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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