nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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