my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
