honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
