im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
