Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
