Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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