I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
