Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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