When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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