I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
