Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize