and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
