My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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