once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
