he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
