So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
