i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
