the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
