Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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