Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
