Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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