oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
