In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
