He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
